If you’ve ever wondered why your child reacts so strongly to things other kids seem to brush off, loud noises, itchy clothes, changes in routine, or even a tone of voice, you’re not alone. Many parents find themselves asking: Is this just a sensitive child? Or is it something bigger, like Sensory Processing Disorder (SPD)?
After more than 15 years of working with highly sensitive families around the world, I can assure you: you’re not imagining it, and your child is not “too much.” What you’re seeing may be part of a trait called high sensitivity, or sometimes Sensory Processing Sensitivity (SPS).
Disclaimer: This blog post is for informational and educational purposes only and is not intended as medical, psychological, or therapeutic advice. Every child is unique, and while the experiences described here may resonate with your family, they should not be used to diagnose or treat any condition.
High Sensitivity: A Temperament, Not a Disorder
High sensitivity is an inborn trait, not a diagnosis. Around 20–30% of the population is highly sensitive, and research shows it appears equally in males and females. Interestingly, the same ratio is found in over 100 different species of animals, which tells us this trait is deeply embedded in nature.
Psychologist Dr. Elaine Aron first identified this trait in the 1990s, and her D.O.E.S. model describes what makes these kids unique:
- Depth of processing: They think deeply, reflect, and may ask surprisingly complex questions.
- Overstimulation: Too much sensory input (noise, lights, activity) quickly overwhelms them.
- Emotional reactivity & empathy: They feel everything more intensely, and often care deeply about others.
- Sensing the subtle: They notice details others miss, from a faint smell or taste to the mood in the room.
Key point: Sensitivity is genetic, which means if your child is highly sensitive, there’s a strong chance at least one parent is, too.
Emotions and Empathy Run Deep
Highly Sensitive Children don’t just feel their own emotions strongly, they often absorb the emotions of those around them. Parents frequently describe them as “little empaths”:
- They may seem to “read your mind,” knowing how you feel before you say a word.
- They can sense tension in the home and react with tears, clinginess, or anger.
- They may carry other people’s sadness or worry long after the moment has passed.
This is why your calm presence is the most powerful tool you have. Sensitive kids regulate through you. When you breathe slowly, soften your voice, and stay grounded, you’re teaching them how to regulate their big emotions too.
What Sensitivity Looks Like Through Development
Infants:
May resist swaddling, react strongly to temperature changes, be highly aware of caregiver moods, or cry more easily. Their developing nervous system processes sensory information intensely from the start.
Toddlers:
Strong tantrums during transitions, very particular about routines, and highly aware of how things are done. Socially, they may show strong preferences for certain people, and just as strongly “reject” others. It’s essential that they are not forced to “be nice” or show affection unless they’re ready. Many sensitive toddlers simply need extra time to warm up.
School-age kids:
May avoid team sports, struggle with sleepovers, or feel deeply upset by unfairness and unkindness. They may also have just one or two close friends, preferring depth over breadth. Parents sometimes misinterpret this as antisocial behavior, but in reality, these kids thrive on meaningful, secure relationships.
Tweens & Teens:
May become perfectionistic, anxious in social settings, or emotionally exhausted by school and peer pressure. Sensitive teens can find it difficult to manage “mean girls” dynamics or “macho guy” culture. They do best when given support to pursue authentic friendships and activities without pressure to conform.
Where Sensory Processing Disorder Fits In
While all Highly Sensitive Children notice and feel more, some kids struggle because their nervous system can’t effectively process sensory experiences. That’s Sensory Processing Disorder (SPD).
SPD is a complex neurological condition with several subsets, and it can overlap with autism spectrum disorder (ASD) or attention deficit hyperactivity disorder (ADHD). Research on diagnostic criteria is still evolving, and clinicians may differ in how they identify symptoms of Sensory Processing Disorder. For many families, this uncertainty adds to the overwhelm.
For clarity, this article focuses on Sensory Over-Responsivity (SOR), the most common overlap between SPD and high sensitivity.
Children with SOR experience the world as simply too much:
- Sock seams feel unbearable.
- Tags or fabrics become itchy torture.
- Bright lights or loud sounds feel painful.
- Food textures, strong smell or taste, or even food touching on the plate can cause meltdowns.
- Certain sensory input leads to shutdowns or avoidance.
Other subsets of SPD impact body awareness, fine motor skills, balance, or coordination. These don’t overlap as strongly with sensitivity but can significantly affect daily life.
Sensory Seeking vs. Sensory Avoiding
Not all children with sensory issues avoid stimulation. Some are sensory seeking, craving strong movement, touch, or sound to help regulate their nervous system. Others experience sensory modulation difficulties, swinging between avoidance and craving. Occupational therapists often use sensory integration therapy to help kids balance the way they process sensory input, whether they seek or avoid it.
Quick Comparison
Sorting It Out Without Overwhelm
If your child is deeply reflective, emotionally intense, and easily overstimulated but can usually manage daily life with support that points to high sensitivity.
If your child struggles daily with clothing, food textures, or sensory overwhelm, and has ongoing issues with body awareness or fine motor skills, Sensory Processing Disorder (SPD) may be part of the picture.
If you see both emotional intensity and significant sensory issues, you may be looking at SPSD, where sensitivity and sensory processing collide.
Practical Support and Hope
Here’s the relief: you don’t have to figure this out alone. Families navigating sensory processing disorder SPD often work closely with occupational therapy providers and receive personalized strategies for sensory integration. Children with Sensory Processing Disorder learn tools to regulate their nervous system, manage symptoms of sensory processing disorder, and build confidence in daily life.
Meanwhile, highly sensitive children benefit most from calm, attuned parenting and environments that honor their depth. For children who fall in both categories, combining compassionate parenting with occupational therapists’ expertise creates a powerful path forward.
Moving Forward with Clarity
Whether your child is highly sensitive, has Sensory Processing Disorder, or shows signs of both, the important truth is this: they are not broken. These children process sensory information differently, but with the right support, they can thrive.
- Highly sensitive children need understanding and validation of their emotional world.
- Children with sensory processing disorder benefit from targeted occupational therapy and sensory integration therapy to ease daily struggles.
- Those with overlapping traits require tailored strategies that support both emotional and sensory needs.
Your role is not to “fix” your child but to guide them toward balance, confidence, and self-acceptance. With patience, professional support, and your steady presence, your child can learn to manage their sensitivity and sensory issues in ways that allow their gifts to shine.
If you’re ready to explore this further, schedule a free Parent Detective Call. Together, we’ll look at your child’s unique patterns and create a plan that brings relief, clarity, and hope for the road ahead.
Frequently Asked Questions: Is It High Sensitivity or Sensory Processing Disorder?
Not necessarily. High sensitivity is a temperament trait. SPD is a processing difference. Neither means anything is “wrong” with your child.
We do not outgrow being highly sensitive. But when kids learn to manage their sensitivity they become empowered. Breakdowns decrease and daily challenges become manageable. SPD challenges can improve with the right interventions.
Because they know you deserve more than charts, checklists, discipline techniques, or medication — you deserve practical tools and lived wisdom to support your child every day.
Absolutely! Sensitivity is genetic. If your child is highly sensitive, there’s a good chance at least one parent is as well. Understanding your own sensitivity can be just as powerful as learning about your child’s.
If you enjoyed this article, Is It High Sensitivity or Sensory Processing Disorder?, you might also enjoy:
- The Psychology of Color and Emotion: Why HSPs Feel It All So Deeply
- Pathological Demand Avoidance in Adults: What Parents Should Know
- What Is Hyper Empathy: How to Know If You Have It
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