Let’s face it: raising a strong willed child can feel a little like negotiating with a tiny, emotionally volatile lawyer who moonlights as a hostage negotiator. You lay down a rule, and suddenly, you’re knee-deep in a high-stakes debate that rivals a Supreme Court hearing. And if you’ve got a highly sensitive child who’s also strong willed? Buckle up, my friend. You’re not in Kansas anymore.
But here’s the thing: strong willed children aren’t broken. They’re not “bad kids” or tiny tyrants bent on world domination. They are spirited, determined, and yes, sometimes exhausting little humans with an incredible capacity for growth, leadership, and empathy. You just need a roadmap (and maybe a snack for yourself… you’ll need the fuel).
The Gift (and Challenge) of a Strong Willed Child
Strong willed children are often misunderstood. They’re not trying to ruin your life (even though it may feel that way at bedtime). They’re hardwired for autonomy, justice, and fierce independence. And while that can make power struggles part of your daily routine, it also means they have the potential to become passionate changemakers and deeply empathetic leaders.
I know this firsthand, because I was born an intense, sensitive, empathic power-seeker myself. I understand what it feels like to experience the world with big emotions and an even bigger will. That lived experience, combined with my professional training, is what led me to become a parenting expert specializing in highly sensitive children. For years, I’ve helped families like yours solve problems, strengthen relationships, and trade daily chaos for genuine connection.
Practical Tips to Avoid Power Struggles (and Maybe Even Laugh Along the Way)
If parenting your strong willed child feels like playing emotional dodgeball blindfolded… don’t worry. There are ways to foster cooperation without bribing your child with goldfish crackers or threatening to cancel their birthday party.
5 Practical Tips Raising a Strong Willed Child
1. Give Choices (Even If They’re Tiny)
Strong willed kids crave autonomy like you crave five minutes of silence. So offer structured choices: “Would you like to brush your teeth before or after we read a book?” Letting them feel in control over small decisions can prevent major meltdowns.
2. Connect Before You Correct
Before you lay down the law, try connection. Kneel to their level, use a gentle tone, and show empathy: “It’s hard to stop playing when you’re having fun. I get it.” Connection opens the door for cooperation, and cuts the odds of a full-on tantrum by about 73.5% (okay, we made that up, but it feels true).
3. Use Positive Reinforcement Like Confetti
When your strong willed child does something kind, respectful, or cooperative, shower them with positive reinforcement. Notice the good stuff out loud: “Wow, I saw how you helped your sister with the puzzle. That was really thoughtful.” Praise builds confidence and encourages repeat behavior.
4. Hold Boundaries with Compassion
Spoiler alert: your strong willed child will test limits. Repeatedly. (And then again for good measure.) But boundaries aren’t mean—they’re necessary. Think of them as emotional seat belts. The trick is to be firm but kind: “I hear that you’re upset, and it’s okay to feel mad. But it’s not okay to hit.”
5. Make Room for Big Feelings
Strong willed children often come with strong emotions. (And strong opinions on bedtime, snacks, and sock seams.) Validate their experience: “You’re frustrated that it’s time to leave the park. That makes sense.” When kids feel seen and understood, they’re more likely to move through emotions instead of getting stuck in them.
Let’s Talk About the Sensitive, Strong-Willed Combo
If you’ve ever ended the day wondering why bedtime felt like a courtroom battle, or why your child reacts like the world is ending when the blue cup is dirty, you’re not alone. Raising a strong willed child is no joke. It’s also not something you’re supposed to just “figure out” on your own. That’s why I created the Sensitive Parenting Mastermind, a six-month group coaching program for parents who are done reading every blog, listening to every podcast, and still feeling like they’re failing.
This isn’t a one-size-fits-all, sticker-chart kind of thing. It’s real-life, heart-centered support that helps you finally understand your child’s behavior and your own responses to it.
You’ll learn how to solve problems without yelling, set boundaries without guilt, and shift from daily power struggles to genuine connection. It’s for parents who want to break old cycles, not just survive the week. If that’s you, the waitlist is open, and it just might be the best gift you give yourself (and your child) this year.
You’re Not Alone (And You’re Definitely Not a Bad Parent)
It’s easy to fall into the trap of self-doubt when you’re raising a strong willed child. You may wonder if you’re doing it all wrong, especially when your kiddo refuses to wear pants for the third time this week or negotiates bedtime like a hostage situation. But here’s the truth: you’re not failing. You’re just parenting a child who needs a different approach.
I have worked with hundreds of families on six continents (and even some strong willed dogs—shoutout to Maggie!) to create peace in the home and connection in the chaos.
As one parent said,
“Melissa, thank you so much. I’m much more aware and understanding of my daughter’s sensitivity. I’ve let go, and now I can actually enjoy watching her become who she’s meant to be.”
—Dana, Florida
A Reminder to Just Breathe
Strong willed children aren’t easy. But they’re not supposed to be. They’re here to shake things up, to challenge the status quo, to teach us to grow alongside them.
So the next time you find yourself in a standoff over broccoli or socks, take a deep breath, remember these practical tips, and know that you are exactly the parent your child needs.
And when you’re ready for next-level support with parenting your strong willed child,with less yelling, more laughing, and zero shame—I am here to help!
If you enjoyed this article about raising a strong willed child, you might also enjoy:
- Tantrums and Meltdowns: What’s Really Going On (And What You Can Do About It)
- Grounding Punishment: A Guide to Effective Discipline with Empathy
- Good Consequences: Fostering Connection in Parenting
Pin-it for later: Raising a Strong Willed Child: Practical Tips for a Peaceful, Connected Home
